


Just Another Manic Monday

by agentsimmons



Series: Yours. Mine. Ours. [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Background Natasha/James, De-Aged, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Family, Family Fluff, Fluff, Kid Clint Barton, Kid Darcy Lewis, Kid Fic, Kid Jane Foster - Freeform, Kid Loki and Kid Thor, Kid Natasha Romanov, Kid Pietro Maximoff, Kid Sam Wilson, Kid Skye | Daisy Johnson, Kid Steve Rogers, Kid Wanda Maximoff, Large Families, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Out of Character, POV Alternating, Parent Bruce Banner, Parent Tony Stark, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Science Boyfriends, The Supersized Science Family, Unconventional Families
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 14:57:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8018476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentsimmons/pseuds/agentsimmons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Actually it's the same manic Monday as before and Steve probably won't remember half of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Another Manic Monday

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place alongside/following the events of [A Manic Monday in the Life of Bruce Banner](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6588208) and has references to that fic. There is also a shout out, sort of set up to a joke in [Something Old, Something New](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6796735), at least that's what I was going for lol, but you don't really have to recall any of that fic for this to make sense. Also in relation to that fic, there's a moment in this fic involving Tony's feelings about marrying Bruce.
> 
> Steve is very out of character for most of this fic. It's intentional.

“Doing okay over there, Steve?”

Tony paused his reading of an article about possible causes for blacking out during a run when he heard the sound of the automatic window. He looked up from his phone to see the car window going up and down as the seventeen-year-old watched with the fascination of someone at least a decade younger. The doctor had given him some drugs during the examination and a prescription for a few days' worth of heavy painkillers so this was likely just the beginning. He'd been on the verge of passing out just a few minutes prior when Tony had glanced up to check on him.

Steve turned slowly to look at him. He blinked a few times and then straightened his posture with a sense of purpose. His face became as serious as could be. Tony raised an expectant brow, wondering what could possibly be going on in his drug-addled mind.

“When are you going to make an honest man of my father?”

Tony’s mouth parted in surprise. “An honest man?” Tony repeated after a long, silent moment trying to process Steve’s statement. Steve gave an off-kilter nod. "You mean as in marry him?"

"Yeah," Steve said gruffly. "You got something against marriage?" He attempted to give a suspicious look as his hands slapped his thighs. However, that caused his eyes to widen and he slowly pulled out his phone like he'd forgotten all about its existence before this moment.

Tony blinked a few times and watched Steve seemingly attempt to remember how to actually unlock his phone before saying, "Uh, no. No, I don't have anything against marriage. I've been married before."

Steve frowned. "You can marry more than once."

"I'm well aware of that, Steve," Tony replied patiently as he also tried hard not to be too amused by the poor teen's drugged state lest it upset him.

"Don't you think my dad's worth marrying?" Steve fiddled with his phone a little bit more as he asked the question and then looked up at him with impossibly sad blue eyes and an honest-to-God puppy dog pout.

"I think your dad's perfect, Steve," he answered as reassuringly as possible. "But marriage is a big step and not one I'm sure your dad and I are ready for. I'd probably marry him tomorrow if he wanted to, don't get me wrong, but it's not that simple." Just because Steve suddenly seemed on board with the idea didn't mean that the other twelve kids wouldn't protest. And there was the very real fact that Bruce probably wouldn't want to just up and marry him tomorrow or the day after that or anytime soon. Tony gave it thought every now and then, of course – it was only natural – but he wasn't sure the timing was right.

"It's as simple as you want it to be," Steve mumbled as his attention turned back to his phone.

Tony gave a soft smile in spite of everything. Out of the mouth of babes, perhaps. "Look, Steve. You realize marriage isn't a requirement of a long, happy relationship, right?"

“Guess so.” His tone was a little petulant. “But if you married Dr. Hansen because you loved her why not my dad?”

“Huh.” Tony scrunched his face and glanced down at his phone, reading his latest text from Bruce as he did. That was actually pretty sound logic. He could definitely understand Steve’s suspicion that Tony wasn’t as serious as he said.

“I can’t wait to marry Sam,” Steve said then with a dreamy sigh, the conversation taking a sudden and unexpected turn. Tony glanced back at the teen to see him staring at his phone with a dopey – _and completely doped_ – expression. He craned his neck just enough to spy a photo of Steve and Sam on said phone.

“Easy there, partner,” Tony said with a chuckle and Steve startled as if he’d been on the verge of falling asleep again. “Maybe you should graduate first and grow up a little more before you start thinking about marrying Sam.”

Steve scrunched his face. "I'm almost 18," he said like it was a matter-of-fact explanation for why he was confused.

"True," Tony humored him. "But a lot starts happening when you turn 18 and just because you're thinking about chapels and picket fences now doesn't mean you will be in a couple of years." This conversation was more awkward than being grilled about when _he'd_ get married and frankly he wondered if Steve would remember any of it. Tony wondered if it made him a bad person if he hoped he didn't remember.

"I know that," Steve said. "But Sam is like my soul mate. And you _have_ to marry your soul mate." He sounded like a kid again, spouting naïve truths. "Don't you want me to marry him?"

Tony sighed, resigned. "Look, Steve. Sam has always been like a part of my family. Now you are too. I just want you both to be happy. Whether that's married to each other or not."

Steve looked to be processing that information very slowly before he finally gave a nod. "We'll probably name one of our sons James," he then said in a distant and thoughtful tone. "But if we have more than one maybe we'll name him Robert Anthony or Anthony Bruce," he said as he looked like he was fighting off sleep.

Tony gave a soft smile. "Well, you've got plenty of time ahead of you to think about it." 

And he was certain that was true. When they returned to the hospital for the results of the doctor's tests, everything would be fine. He couldn't believe otherwise.

 

* * *

 

Sitting through first period calculus while worrying about a boyfriend, Sam discovered, was a chore. As if first period calculus wasn't hard enough, there was an empty seat beside him that he couldn't stop looking at. And the whole class all he could think about was checking his phone to see if Steve had text him back yet or if any of the others he'd asked had for that matter. If not he'd track down one of the members of the Stark and Banner clan himself.

The bell couldn't ring soon enough. He gathered his things as soon as it did and hurried to Skye's locker since it was closest to his calculus class, checking his phone as he went. All he'd gotten was a 'we'll talk later' with kiss emoji from Steve and nothing from the others.

"Hey, Sam," Skye said, noticing him as he approached.

"Don't 'hey, Sam' me." She quirked her brows. "What's with the radio silence regarding my m.i.a. boyfriend?"

Skye snorted as she put one textbook into her locker and exchanged it for another. " _Wow_. Clingy enough?"

"I'm not trying to be clingy," Sam said, even as a part of him realized that's exactly what he was being. "But Steve only misses a day of school if he's sick. Is he sick? Because yesterday when we were—" He stopped short.

Skye's eyes widened in realization. "Okay, ew. I don't want to know what you and Steve get up to. It's only hot when it's dudes I'm not related to in any sense of the word. Or fictional characters." Sam rolled his eyes. "Besides, I'm still thoroughly scarred from this morning." She shut her locker door with a shiver.

"What happened this morning?" Sam asked, following her through the hall.

"Totally interrupted our dads doing the—"

"Sorry I asked," Sam interjected, holding up his hands. "But, seriously, _is_ Steve sick or something? Because I feel like everybody's avoiding the question. Even Steve. He used the kiss emoji." She glanced at him sideways like he wasn't making any sense. "He doesn't use it lightly. Only when we haven't seen each other for a while or it's a special day. Or we're flirting."

"Okay, wow, you know... I thought it was bad when you were still in the house but now I'm learning all sorts of uncomfortable things about your guys' lame relationship."

"Lame?" Sam was a little taken back by that. "I thought you were rooting for us because we're adorable."

"Adorable idiots," Skye clarified. "With a heavy emphasis on idiots. You guys can be lame and adorable at the same time."

"You're still avoiding the question," Sam realized.

"Because Steve would... Well, he probably wouldn't kill me or anything, but he was pretty adamant that nobody tell you until he gets a chance. Something about not upsetting you."

"It's upsetting not knowing if my boyfriend is okay," Sam argued.

She sighed and turned to look at him with a roll of her eyes. "He texted you, right? Sent you the kiss emoji and everything." Sam nodded. "So chill out. He's obviously okay enough to text you. And you know I'd tell you if it was a big deal."

Sam took a deep breath out and realized she was right. He didn't need to do the clingy, overprotective boyfriend thing.

"Right, right. Okay." He then looked at her with a shake of his head. "But, you know, I'm wondering when suddenly you switched your allegiance from me to Steve. I thought we were tight." He gave her a small punch to her shoulder.

"That's just the rules," she said with far too wide a grin, not unlike how her dad smiled. "I've got to put inevitable future step-brother over future brother-in-law. Then when you're upgraded to brother-in-law I can treat you both equally." She winked and then left him standing in a momentary daze.

"Hey, I swear if you went and hacked my journal again there will be consequences," he then called as he chased after her.

 

* * *

 

` **Steve 11:42 a.m.**`  
` I love all of you so much`

` **Loki 11:43 a.m.**`  
` Oh hell it's a group text and somebody's using a different messaging app. Remove me.`

` **Steve 11:44 a.m.**`  
` yes even love you Loki`

` **Thor 11:44 a.m.**`  
` hows ur ankle?`

` **Loki 11:45 a.m.**`  
` Seriously. Remove me.`

` **Clint 11:46 a.m.**`  
` yeah im w/ Loki on this. Group txts are annoying`

` **Loki 11:47 a.m.**`  
` So is text speak.`

` **Skye 11:48 a.m.**`  
` True that`

` **Steve 12:04 p.m.**`  
` Where did everyone go? And nobody loves me too?`

` **Jane 12:09 p.m.**`  
` I love you, Steve. But we can't have our phones out unless it's passing period or lunch.`

` **Darcy 12:11 p.m.**`  
` and the little kids can't have them out at all during school hours unless it's an emergency`

` **Pietro 12:14 p.m.**`  
` guys i think wanda is sick`

` **Clint 12:15 p.m.**`  
` so tell a teacher dude not us`

` **Thor 12:18 p.m.**`  
` u didn't answer about ur ankle :(`

` **Skye 12:21 p.m.**`  
` That reminds me Sam is totally worried about his precious bf. You shouldn't have used the kiss emoji Steve.`

` **Loki 12:22 p.m.**`  
` Oh for crying out loud. REMOVE ME.  `

` **Natasha 12:24 p.m.**`  
` I'm sure Skye could hack Steve's phone from here. Or you could ask JARVIS to do it.`

` **Steve 12:24 p.m.**`  
` sorry fell asleep`

` **Clint 12:25 p.m.**`  
` why does dads os not have an exit group txt option regardless of the msg app being used? We could be making bank w/ that feature`

` **Natasha 12:27 p.m.**`  
` You mean MORE bank?`

` **Steve 12:30 p.m.**`  
` I really love you guys. And Sam. I really love Sam. And our dads. Our dads do so much for us.`

 

* * *

 

Sam approached the lunch table and narrowed his eyes at the way every single one of them was staring at their phones. He paused for a moment before sitting down slowly, studying them as he did. On instinct he pulled out his own phone and saw some texts from Steve. He smiled wide, forgetting his suspicions.

He was about to read them when Loki groaned. "I am turning my phone off until Mister Rogers decides to stop blowing it up with his nauseating feelings of love and goodwill," he said dramatically as he did so. Then he grabbed his tray and left the table as he often did.

"Mister Rogers?" Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.

"He means Steve," Natasha supplied. "He's feeling the group love right now. Check your phone."

Sam furrowed his brow and found not only several messages from just Steve, but also that he was part of a group text with the rest of them. He read through the conversation he'd missed. He side-eyed them all hard for talking via text when they were right there at the same table, but then his eyes re-read the text Skye had sent.

"Skye!" he immediately protested.

"What?"

He glared at her. "One, not cool. Two, you said you'd tell me if it was a big deal. What's wrong with his ankle!?"

She groaned and rolled her eyes as she took a bite of her mashed potatoes. "Look," she said, not bothering to swallow first, "he fell while running. K? Happy now? But if Steve gets mad at me I'm totally throwing you under the bus. So if you don't get Steve kisses for a week it's on you, not me."

"Not while I'm eating," Natasha protested in a dry tone.

Sam huffed and then opened his other texts from Steve. His brow furrowed immediately.

` **Steve 11:27 a.m.**`  
` Do you like the name James? Maybe we should name our first son James. Aftr your dad. Not Bucky. That would be weird rt?`

` **Steve 11:30 a.m.**`  
` I just thought of something. If Natasha and Bucky have a son maybe they'll name him James too. We'd have to have a son first or else Natasha would have a fit and say we stole the name.`

` **Steve 11:32 a.m.**`  
` Oh maybe we can have a girl and make James her middle name. That's popular rt now.`

` **Steve 11:35 a.m.**`  
` Would you want a daughter or a son? I'm not sure. Maybe one of each?`

` **Steve 12:26 p.m.**`  
` R you at lunch? Why haven't you answered? Don't you want to have kids? I want to have kids. Not 13 kids, but at least 1 or 2 :/`

` **Steve 12:35 p.m.**`  
` You hate me for talking about kids don't you…`

Sam blinked several times. He looked around the table. "You sure it's just his ankle?"

Natasha snorted. "He _is_ acting a little weird. I just got a text from him saying we need to have a family meeting to discuss a covert operation."

"The hell?" Clint looked at her.

She shrugged. "He didn't explain what kind of operation."

"I think I can answer that," Thor replied. "I got a text that said 'operation: marriage proposal spread the word.'"

"M-marriage proposal?" Sam's eyes went wide and he couldn't help but look down at the strange texts Steve had sent him.

"Relax, Juliet," Skye elbowed him. "Obviously he means our dads."

"Right, right. I knew that. And don't call me Juliet. Steve and I are both Romeos, fyi."

Natasha snorted. "Yeah, I'd say more like you're both Juliets."

"That's offensive," Sam said, pointing at her with his fork.

"Is it?" She tilted her head. "Because the way I see it Juliet was the kind of girl who was willing to go to do what she needed to do in order to get the life she wanted instead of the life planned for her. Besides, are you really saying it's offensive to be compared to a female character?"

"Ooh," Skye hummed. "Sister _told_ you."

"Answer very carefully, dude," Clint warned. 

"Actually," Thor chimed in, not one to shy away from talk of Shakespeare, "Juliet is the one to propose marriage outright in the play. So whichever one proposes would be Juliet by that definition." 

Sam blinked as his mouth fell open slightly. He looked long at Thor first and then at the others.

"I give up," he finally said with a sigh and then started typing out a reply to Steve's texts.

` **Sam 12:43 p.m.**`  
` I don't hate u! I was busy. I feel like the whole Stark/Banner clan is acting xtra weird 2day. Not that I'm saying ur being weird. Well the talking about kids thing was unexpected sure. But hey I want kids so nbd. But u ok? I saw u hurt ur ankle in the group txt. hope it's not too bad. I'll visit after school. ILY <3`

 

* * *

 

Bruce startled awake when he heard a loud banging noise. He felt Tony's warm body startle beneath him where he lay halfway on his chest. Tony's eyes were open and frantic looking. Then the banging noise returned and Tony scrambled up, Bruce quickly moving away to give him the space he needed.

"Oh god!" Tony jumped out of the bed and looked around. "JARVIS? JARVIS, what's going on!? The kids—"

Bruce felt worried regarding the sound too, but pushed it aside for Tony's sake. Tony needed him to remain calm, not make his PTSD worse.

"Hey, shh," Bruce said in a low, soothing tone as he stood to his feet. "I'm sure they're fine."

 _Yes, sirs, they are_ , JARVIS confirmed and Tony let out a sharp breath.

Bruce moved around to the other side of the bed and slowly, cautiously reached for Tony. Tony practically melted into his touch and Bruce held him the way he needed, the way Tony had held him earlier in the day.

"I don't know about you," Bruce mumbled gently, "but I'm ready for this Monday to be over."

Tony let out a shaky breath and then a shaky laugh. "Yeah," he agreed before regaining his composure. "What's the damage, JARVIS?"

 _Steve has apparently locked himself in his bathroom_.

"What?" Bruce pulled back from Tony and looked around in confusion before quickly heading toward the door.

"You're kidding?" Tony echoed his skepticism as he followed right behind him. They made their way down the hall and stopped when they heard banging again. "What the hell is he even doing?" Tony pondered.

"I'm starting to doubt you on the sound-proof thing," Bruce commented. "Our kids are probably scarred for life."

"Daddy!" Jemma suddenly pushed out of her and Wanda's room and toward them with wide eyes.

"Speaking of scarred kids," Tony said under his breath right as Jemma bounded into the both of them. They both let out an _oomph_. "You're okay, petal," he immediately soothed her. Bruce's stomach gave a somersault in spite of the situation at hand; he just couldn't help it since his body always reacted when Tony was nurturing any of the kids.

"NO!" Jemma protested, looking up at them both. Her eyes were still wide and worried as she looked back and forth between them. "There's a monster or a ghost—" The banging started up again just at that moment and she pushed between them and clutched at their backs, a hand fisting each of their shirts. "Wanda is asleep. I couldn't wake her up," Jemma said, voice trembling.

"Jemma, sweetie," Bruce turned and pulled her up into his arms. She hugged him tightly. "Wanda is fine," he said. Then the banging started again.

"DAD!!!" Wanda screamed at that moment. It was followed by a, "JARVIS, what's happening!?" Then she emerged from the bedroom looking frantic and, Bruce cringed, feverish. As long as they were up it might be a good idea to check their temperatures.

 _Steve is locked in his bathroom_ , JARVIS supplied. _He is banging on the walls and floor with his crutches_.

"Ooohhhhh," the girls sighed in unison. Then suddenly Wanda seemed to be hit with a belated wave of nausea and ran back into their bedroom.

Bruce sighed and set Jemma back down. "You go get back in bed. After we help Steve, I'm going to come check on you and Wanda. Okay?" She nodded and then disappeared back into her room, only startling once when the banging started again.

"Come on," Tony said with a sigh of his own. "Let's go help him before he smashes through the wall."

They made the rest of the trip to Steve's bedroom without interruption and over to where his bathroom door was shut. Bruce knocked on it gently.

"Steve, it's dad. Are you okay in there?"

"Dad!" Steve sounded like a relieved child, which threw Bruce for a small loop. He looked at Tony in concern. "Dad, I can't get out. The door won't open."

Tony jiggled the handle. "Is it locked, Steve? Or is it stuck?" There was a long beat of silence and Bruce felt his worry grow. "Steve, this is Tony."

"Yeah… Yeah, I know," he said.

"Okay, just checking." Tony looked at Bruce and said in a low tone, "Don't freak out, Bruce. But I think we may need to call the doctor." Bruce's eyes widened and his thoughts raced. He was already worried about Steve's blackout.

"Are you guys still there?" Steve asked, real worry in his voice that did nothing to abate Bruce's worry.

"We're still here, Steve," Bruce said quickly. "Stand back okay?"

"I'm sitting on the toilet," Steve replied. "I MEAN! Not _on_ the toilet. Not like that. God, I'm sitting on the closed toilet seat."

"Poor kid," Tony mumbled. "I think those opioids are way too strong or just, I don't know, doing something. He seems too confused." Bruce nodded. "I'm going to go get my phone," Tony said and left the room.

"Okay," Bruce returned his attention to the matter at hand. "Dad's going to get you out of there okay?"

"Please, hurry," Steve begged. "I don't want to die in here."

"You're not going to die in there," Bruce said, grabbing the door handle and jiggling it. It felt locked rather than stuck. He pushed against the door a little with one shoulder to see if that would budge it open.

"How do you know?" Steve protested. "I might. And I'll never get to see you and Tony get married!" he cried. "And maybe you'll have another kid to replace me," his voice became more desperate.

"That wouldn't happen," Bruce said, his own frustration with the closed door mounting as Steve became panicked by his delusions.

"You'll name him Steven and everything," Steve countered. "And—and I won't get to marry Sam! We won't be able to have a daughter named Rebecca James. I should have told Sam when I had the chance. I wanted us to have a daughter so we can name her Rebec-"

Steve choked on a loud sob and Bruce snapped. Without thinking his leg flew up and kicked in the door, breaking the frame and allowing him to push it in and aside. He was breathing heavily when he realized what he'd done and Steve was looking at him with wide, red-rimmed eyes.

"There we go," he said as calmly as he could manage. "Nobody's dying or getting replaced. And you can still name your daughter Rebecca," he added with a lifted eyebrow.

"I'm on hold with—" Bruce turned to see Tony with equally wide eyes and the phone hovering beside his ear. He glanced at Steve to see him pointing at him like a kid tattling. He then looked back at Tony to see him studying the slightly damaged frame and Bruce back and forth. "And I thought Steve would be the one smashing through walls," he mumbled in amusement as he came into the bathroom and inspected the door more closely. "Fuck," Tony cursed and then looked up at Bruce again as if in awe. "Oh, we're definitely going a few rounds later."

"I wish I would have died in here," Steve said in earnest, dramatic disgust as his mood suddenly transformed. Bruce let out a snort in spite of everything, grateful for the change.

"I meant in the ring, Stevie boy," Tony flapped a hand at him. "But, uh, Steve, this door was locked," he said, looking at the other side of the door carefully. He straightened up and looked at Steve. Bruce did as well. "Did you know that?"

"I…" Steve narrowed his eyes. "I thought I'd unlocked it," he said, sounding confused. "I didn't?"

"Hey, Steve," Sam's voice suddenly rang out before either man could answer Steve. "Here for that visit. Can I come in?"

"Dad! You can't tell him what I said about Rebecca James!" Steve exclaimed in a hushed tone. He looked at him imploringly.

Bruce grabbed Steve's crutches and helped him up to use them. "Trust me. I won't deprive you of that pleasure," he ribbed his son. He watched as Steve hobbled into the bedroom and nodded at his door. Sam was at his side helping him to sit on the bed in an instant.

"Rebecca James?" Tony muttered looking at Bruce as he passed.

"Apparently the name of our first granddaughter," Bruce supplied in a whisper, Tony raising an eyebrow in response. Bruce shrugged and then moved into the bedroom where both boys sat on the bed.

"Hi, yes," Tony suddenly said, no longer on hold anymore apparently, and moved out of the bedroom to take the call elsewhere.

"JARVIS, could you tell one of the older kids to check on Wanda and Jemma for me. Just their temperatures. Have them let Jemma know I'm still going to come in and check on them myself," he added, knowing it was important still for Jemma to be assured he wasn't forgetting about her.

_Yes, sir._

"Now that the excitement has passed," Bruce said then, "how are you feeling, Steve?"

"Uh… a little… a little dizzy?" Steve answered uncertainly. Bruce frowned and Sam's eyebrows shot up. "And really tired," he said and leaned his head on Sam's shoulder.

His eyes started getting droopy. Sam looked up at Bruce as if not sure what he should do for a moment before shifting to put an arm around Steve's back. Steve seemed to appreciate the move and nuzzled the crook of Sam's neck as his eyes gave in and closed. Bruce smiled thinly, and forced himself not to be _that_ dad. The one that felt a little sad that his little boy wasn't so little anymore and had someone else he could cling to when he needed the comfort.

"Uh, Steve," Sam's eyebrows knitted together, "you're really warm." Steve just hummed, tone distant. "Is he okay, Dr. Banner?" Sam asked, looking at him. "I know about the ankle, obviously, but he's been sending me weird texts all day. Some were, I guess, semi normal. But some weren't even coherent at all. I'm really, really worried about him. I should have said something yesterday, maybe," he then mumbled.

"Tony's on the phone with the doctor right now. We think he might be having a pretty bad reaction to his pain medicine," he explained. "So… word of advice: go easy on him when he comes back around. He may not remember everything, but if he reads through the texts he's sent...." He shrugged and Sam winced before nodding. "And what should you have said yesterday?" Bruce studied him carefully.

"Oh, uh…" Sam's cheeks darkened and he coughed. He looked down at Steve who seemed out of it again after all the excitement in the bathroom. "Well, you know we had our date and all…" Sam looked anywhere but at Bruce. "We weren't… _you know_ ," he said vaguely, waving his free hand. "But we… you know… it was maybe a little, uh… heavy?" His face went darker still and Bruce took pity on him.

"Relax, Sam," Bruce said gently. "I'm not going to forbid you from seeing him. You're both smart boys." Sam just nodded once, rigid and still on edge. "So you two were messing around a little," Bruce said bluntly enough to startle Sam into continuing his story.

"Uh… Yeah, I mean… something like that?" He shook his head. "We were making out," he recovered finally, "and Steve was complaining about feeling dizzy. I thought… I thought, you know, he was talking about…"

"I get it, Sam," Bruce said, trying to remain patient and put himself in the boy's shoes. God, he would probably be even more of a mess if that were the case, he mused. "So you think there was something wrong yesterday," he filled in the blanks.

"Yeah, so when I realized it was something else, I told him we should stop. I told him maybe he wasn't feeling good or was too tired. He insisted he was fine because…" Sam darted his eyes to the head on his shoulder. "I love Steve, Dr. Banner, but he's stubborn."

Bruce snorted and shrugged. "He is."

"He's also really, _really_ warm," Sam then added and pulled his head away from Steve and placed his free hand on his forehead. "I… think he has a fever?"

Bruce moved to rest his hand on Steve's cheek and then forehead when Sam dropped his hand. "You're right," he said, biting his lip.

"Is that the painkiller too?"

"Maybe," Bruce answered. "But—"

"We need to take Steve back to the doctor," Tony said, coming into the room at that moment. He stopped and studied the scene. "Feverish?" Bruce nodded. "Guess that confirms it. Doctor says they got the results of the tests back. Steve's got a strand of pneumonia." Bruce saw Sam go pale. "Yeah," Tony winced, "Sam I think you should come along too. I'll call your dad to meet us. Probably best to see if there's any preventative measures you can take. Since I'm assuming you've swapped saliva within the last forty-eight hours," he said with a chuckle.

"Uh, yeah," Sam said as he slowly extricated himself from Steve's hold. Bruce helped him.

"As for the blackout during his run this morning, the doc thinks he was having a hard time getting air into his lungs thanks to the infection, but didn't realize it—"

"Or was too stubborn to think it was a big deal and pushed himself anyways," Bruce added the possibility, knowing his son well enough by now to consider it.

"Right," Tony agreed. "Either way he didn't find anything else that would have caused it. I told him our concerns about the painkillers and he wants to take him off of them. Said he wouldn't be surprised if the medicines induce a fever so we should bring him back to the hospital so they can run a couple more tests to make sure that's all it is. He wants to keep him overnight for monitoring just in case, given his medical history and the side effects of the drugs."

Bruce took a deep breath and nodded. "Really ready for it to be Tuesday," he said. "God, I hope it's better."

 

* * *

 

Steve opened his eyes against the sharp bright light of the hospital room. He knew it was a hospital room before they even focused as familiar as he was of them from his earliest memories. He also vaguely recalled being taken there by his dad and Tony and waking up a few times before to see his dad's outline in an armchair in the room.

As sensations returned to him Steve almost wished he were still asleep. His ankle ached. His throat burned. His head felt like somebody was squeezing it like a grape. He wondered how breaking his ankle had led to this.

"Did I get hit by a bus?" he mumbled as he looked around.

"No, but you could have been if you had blacked out somewhere dangerous." Steve furrowed his brow and looked over to his right. Sam was sitting in a chair. "Also if I catch pneumonia it's your fault."

"What?" Steve's head swam a little. "Why are _you_ here?"

"Ouch. Not exactly the question I was expecting," Sam teased him as he stood up and came over to the bed. "You've been out off and on since they brought you in yesterday, man. Tony's currently on sentinel duty, but he wanted some coffee and to call your dad to give him an update. But I think more like to check and see if he got home alright. So, here I am."

"Okay, but shouldn't you be at school?" Steve asked in confusion.

"School ended like an hour ago," Sam told him. "I asked my dad if I could visit you so Uncle T picked me up on his way to change guard with your dad."

"Oh," Steve said, letting the explanation sink in. "So I've got pneumonia?"

"Yeah," Sam answered. "You're only still here because they wanted to make sure all of the opioids were out of your system before sending you home."

"God, I never want to take those things again," Steve said with a groan as he suddenly recalled how he'd felt like he'd hit a brick wall shortly after taking them, the day before apparently. Then his eyes widened as other hazy memories started to return to him. "Oh no," he muttered.

"What?"

"Did I…" He glanced at Sam nervously. "Did I do anything…weird? Yesterday?"

"You forgot how to unlock a door, apparently," Sam said with a shrug.

Steve closed his eyes tight in embarrassment. "I think my dad broke it down to get me out," he recalled. "Anything else?" Steve opened his eyes when he felt Sam's hand on his.

"Hey, nothing you need to worry about. And just look at it this way: we can laugh about it later."

Steve gulped and felt a wave of nausea. "Sam, tell me the truth…" He took an unsteady breath. "Did I call you a liar? Did I…" He whispered, feeling his cheeks heat uncontrollably, "Did I accuse you of thinking that I'm not good enough to be the father of your babies?"

Suddenly Sam started laughing uncontrollably, so much so that he stumbled back and fell into the chair. Steve knew the answer was yes and he was torn between wanting to call the nurse and ask her if it was possible to die from embarrassment and laugh along with his boyfriend. A single snicker passed his lips. Then another. Finally, the latter inclination won out and he began to laugh as he watched Sam double over and laugh harder, slapping his leg a few times.

"Don't worry, Steve," Sam teased around his laughter, barely able to look back at him, "you're definitely good enough to be the father of my babies."

Steve stopped laughing and groaned. "You know what," he teased back, "just for that I should tell you to find someone else for the job."

"Don't even think about it, Romeo," Sam said, shaking his head, and moving back over to the side of the bed. "You maybe gave me pneumonia. You're stuck with me forever."

"Oh, is that so?" Steve snorted.

"That's so."

"Guess my evil plan worked after all," Steve teased. "But no more talking about babies. Deal?"

"Yeah, I think I'm more than okay with that," Sam said.

Steve smiled at his boyfriend and wondered about anything else he might have said or done, but couldn't remember. Whatever he'd done, he was sure it couldn't be more embarrassing than discussing children when his boyfriend before they were even graduated from high school.

At least he really hoped not.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Some opioids can cause an adverse reaction of confusion in addition to the more common nausea/drowsiness which is what I was going for in this fic.  
> 2\. The shout out, set up aspect was for the joke in Something Old, Something New about Steve and Sam having kids.  
> 3\. Mister Rogers joke was intentional shout out to Steve's canonical last name.  
> 4\. It's been exactly 5 months to the Monday that I experienced the manic Monday that inspired me to write the original entry this goes along with.  
> 5\. For those wondering about the outlining process that happens with these fics, Steve was always going to be sick with pneumonia since this fic takes place during the flu/pneumonia outbreak that occurred earlier this year. The reason for having the mention of Jemma and Wanda being sick was a set up for that conclusion. Of course, it shouldn't have taken me 5 months to actualize the reveal, but... Sorry. So, our precious Steve is fine. ~~...for now...~~


End file.
